Over the course of the  cooking show fans would send in jokes and Barbara would read them in viewer mail. Here are a sampling of some of our favorites!


Four Guys Playing Golf

 

Four married guys are out golfing.  While on the 4th hole, the following

conversation takes place:

 

First Guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing

this weekend.  I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the

house next weekend."

 

Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I would build her

a new deck for the pool."

 

Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy!  I had to promise my wife I would

remodel the kitchen for her."

 

As they continue play.  they realized that the last member of the foursome

hadn't said a word.  So, they ask him. "You haven't said anything about what

you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend.  What's the deal?"

 

Fourth Guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am.  When it goes off, I shut off

the alarm, give my wife a nudge and say, 'Golf Course or Intercourse?'  So,

she says, 'Wear your sweater.'"

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A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand.A cop on the beat sees him and approaches,

 Can I help you, sir?

 Yesssh! Sshomebody sshtole my car! the man replies. 


The cop asks, Where was your car the last time you saw it? 

It wasssh at the end of thisssh key!


 The man replies, logically, if a bit  too literally. 


About this time the cop looks down to see that the man's weenie is being exhibited for all the world to see. He asks the man, Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?


The man looks down woefully and without missing a beat, moans Ohhh NO...they got my girlfriend too!


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The Perfect Man

 

 

The perfect man is gentle

Never cruel or mean

He has a beautiful smile

And keeps his face so clean

 

The perfect man likes children

And will raise them by your side

He will be a good father

As well as a good husband to his bride

 

The perfect man loves cooking

Cleaning and vacuuming too

He'll do anything in his power

To convey his feelings of love onto you

 

The perfect man is sweet

Writing poetry from your name

He's a best friend to your mother

And kisses away your pain

 

He never has made you cry

Or battered you in any way

To hell with this endless poem

 

THE PERFECT MAN IS GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Butt Joke... 

 

A fellow came to work one Monday morning with two black eyes. When he was asked how he got them he told this story.


“ I went to church yesterday and sat behind a large fat lady. When everyone got up to sing I noticed that her dress was caught in the crack of her butt. 


So being a good hearted person, I reached over and pulled it out, she turned around and hit me in the eye.


 Well I didn’t realized that she didn’t want it pulled out, so I reached over and tucked it back in. POW!”

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Robbery gone bad

 

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a

well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.


 "Give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, 


The affluent man replied, "You can't do this-I'm a US

Congressman!"


 "In that case," replied the robber, "give me my money


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A man was in an accident and his weenie  was chopped off. He was rushed to the   hospital where the doctor examined him, and after careful examination  said,   "We can replace it with a small size for $2,000, a

medium size for $5,000,  or   an extra-large size for $10,000.   I realize it's a lot of money, so take  your   time and talk it over with your wife." 


 When the doctor came back into the  room he found the man staring

sadly at the floor.


  "We've decided," the  man  told him as he choked

back tears.  "My wife says she'd rather have a new   kitchen."